I have come to the conclusion (and have nearly accepted) that there is a purpose behind everything my wife does and says these days at the grocery store. That purpose is to trick me. First it was the peanut butter. It was a simple "Do you want me to get you some peanut butter?" and we all know what happened (hippie goo!). This time it was another food staple that I absolutely love and can't do without. Yes, the hippie has gotten to my milk.
Again, it started with an innocent question: "Do we need more milk?". Notice that she phrased the question with a "we" instead of directly asking whether "I" wanted more milk. She was crafty enough to imply that I did in fact need more milk because we were almost out. I should have been more weary but I answered exactly how she hoped; Iresponded with an emphatic "Sure!". We then proceeded to the area where one can find the milk (some might call it the "milk aisle") where I grabbed the usual low fat (1%) milk (note that my wife has been changing me on a slow and steady basis: I grew up on 2% milk and now drink watered down 1% milk...keep this in mind). Right after I grabbed the $3.49 gallon of milk she said "Oh wait, we need to get hormone free milk". I sighed and said, "Ok". My eyes then ventured over to the organic hormone free gallons of milk and were drawn like magnets to the $4.99 price tag. Aha! They're at it again! Tell us how bad the hormones are and then charge us 30% more. 30% more! No wonder people can't buy groceries these days. The hippies are taking over the world.
Now I don't know much about the milk industry, but here is my theory. Normal non-hippie milk (that is, non-organic "hormonal" milk) costs $3.49 per gallon. Included in this price of milk is the cost of the non-organic materials (I assume feed and whatever other things they give to the cows) and the hormones. If the hippie milk doesn't include these items (i.e. no non-organic materials or hormones), shouldn't the price be lower? I mean, fewer inputs should yield lower costs. Stick the cows out in a field, let them eat some grass (which grows on its own) and milk them. Pretty simple really. My only conclusion is that the hippies are trying to take over the world by making all of us poor and bending our will to their hippie ways (they've already got my wife!). Rest assured that I will continue to fight the good fight.
On a side note, I just don't know what we are going to do when little Kaylynn gets here. We aren't going to be able to breastfeed because the milk will contain hormones (lots and lots of hormones...). I appears that we have a bit of a conundrum here.
Again, it started with an innocent question: "Do we need more milk?". Notice that she phrased the question with a "we" instead of directly asking whether "I" wanted more milk. She was crafty enough to imply that I did in fact need more milk because we were almost out. I should have been more weary but I answered exactly how she hoped; Iresponded with an emphatic "Sure!". We then proceeded to the area where one can find the milk (some might call it the "milk aisle") where I grabbed the usual low fat (1%) milk (note that my wife has been changing me on a slow and steady basis: I grew up on 2% milk and now drink watered down 1% milk...keep this in mind). Right after I grabbed the $3.49 gallon of milk she said "Oh wait, we need to get hormone free milk". I sighed and said, "Ok". My eyes then ventured over to the organic hormone free gallons of milk and were drawn like magnets to the $4.99 price tag. Aha! They're at it again! Tell us how bad the hormones are and then charge us 30% more. 30% more! No wonder people can't buy groceries these days. The hippies are taking over the world.
Now I don't know much about the milk industry, but here is my theory. Normal non-hippie milk (that is, non-organic "hormonal" milk) costs $3.49 per gallon. Included in this price of milk is the cost of the non-organic materials (I assume feed and whatever other things they give to the cows) and the hormones. If the hippie milk doesn't include these items (i.e. no non-organic materials or hormones), shouldn't the price be lower? I mean, fewer inputs should yield lower costs. Stick the cows out in a field, let them eat some grass (which grows on its own) and milk them. Pretty simple really. My only conclusion is that the hippies are trying to take over the world by making all of us poor and bending our will to their hippie ways (they've already got my wife!). Rest assured that I will continue to fight the good fight.
On a side note, I just don't know what we are going to do when little Kaylynn gets here. We aren't going to be able to breastfeed because the milk will contain hormones (lots and lots of hormones...). I appears that we have a bit of a conundrum here.
5 comments:
Fine. If my milk is hormonal, then we'll feed her the $25 can of formula. Then we'll see who's complaining about $1.50
I thought you can milk anything with nipples...Brian has nipples...
you guys are so entertaining!! keep up the online hippie fights...
this reminded me of something that I'm seeing in London, that I'm sure you guys will recall: I believe the hippie milk costs more just like why anything "Free Range" costs more than the "Basics" at the grocery store like Sainsbury's. Something about a stress free environment for the animals, so since they're in the open instead of being manufactured in some kind of huge over-stuffed farm, it costs more.
I remember that about London - and free-range chickens really just means that they have the OPTION to run around as opposed to staying cooped up. Oddly enough, the chickens prefer the coops, or so I read when we were there.
Post a Comment