I think we are all in agreement that kids say some crazy stuff! I need to keep a journal of it, Sherry-style, but I'm not so good at having a pen/paper around, even when I need it. So, Facebook and my iPhone do the trick, in a pinch.
And because I need to record it someplace else besides Facebook (in case I just get fed up with all the political garbage people spew on it daily and delete my account...seriously, why can't we all just post cute pictures and funny e-cards and be done with it?!) the blog wins the "back-up" spot.
So without further adieu, here is "St*ff My Kids Say, 1st Ed."
And in case you are new, K is the 4 year old girl, B is the 2 year old boy. No, I'm not hiding their names, it is just easier to type. :) Laziness at its finest.
At the fabric store with the kids and I just asked for a yard of fabric:
K: what's a yard?
Me: it is a unit of measure
K: is it a non-standard unit of measure?
Me: a what?
K: non-standard unit of measure. You know like when you measure something with something that is not a ruler.
(seriously, are we raising a kid-genius? A doogie-ette? Nah, they probably watch too much tv)
Me: Hey, were you two in the bathroom?
K: Yup
Me: What were you BOTH doing in there?
B: Oh, you know. Just dwinking chocwate milk and stuff.
What's stuff? Turns out, it was sneaking binkies and coloring with markers on the bathroom stool.
Brian: Ben, let me teach you something. Women are crazy and hormonal. Ben, what are they?
B: hippos.
Brian: NO. Never say that. They are?
B: cwazy and homonal.
K: I'm a woman. Womans are girls.
Brian: That's right. And you know what you guys are? Crazy and...
B: homonal
K: (crying) I don't like that! That is not fun and not nice!!(yes, I know that is a terrible thing for my husband to get my son to say, but dang it if it wasn't hilarious at the time.)
K: Ben, do you know what? When I get bigger, I am going to ride a school bus.
B: when I get bigger, I'm going to ride one, too. And you know what, I am even going to drive it.
K: no you're not.
B: well, when I am really bigger.
K: actually no. You aren't.
My daughter, the dream crusher.
I am scrubbing my face with one of those microderm abrasion scrubber things before church on Sunday, while Kaylynn watches. She's watching me in the bathroom more and more, asking about my flat iron and make-up. Not sure I like it.
K: what are you doing that for?
Me: I'm scrubbing my face.
K: why
Me: It makes me feel like my face looks better. Takes the dead skin off.
K: do you have to do that now because you are old?
Me: Yup. Mama's old.
K: well, you don't look old to me.
Me: I love you! You can tell me that every day. How old do you think I am?
K: umm, let's count (she starts at my feet and moves towards my head...) 1, 2, 3, ...15. You're 15 years old.
I am so glad she has no concept of age. I love her little innocent mind.
K started telling me how when she moves out, I'll need another little girl at home. "Because I'll be far away, but you know, I'll come spend the night with you sometimes." So I asked if she thought she needed another little brother or sister. She said, we'd probably need one of each (Brian asked me later - why are you talking to her about this?!) Anywho, so I asked her, if she had another sibling, what she'd name it. She said her sister needed a cute name, something like "Katelyn". I told her that it was a little too close to her name, so she said, "Rose" is cute, too. So I asked about a brother, and she said, "well, what do you think?" I said, "I asked you what you thought." She sat in silence for a second and said, "Star Rocket would be a great name for a little brother. Don't you think that's perfect?" I said, "Kaylynn, that is the best name ever." She said, "well, when I was a kid (?????) daddy used to take me outside to see the stars every night and when he didn't, I would freak out."
I don't know how she moved from Rose to Star Rocket, but IF we ever have another little boy around here, don't be surprised if his nickname is Star Rocket.
B: "but I already brushed my teeth, daddy."
Brian: "no, you were eating toothpaste, that is not the same thing."
And I'll end on a sweet one...
As she's walking out the door to go to school - "Bye mom! Don't forget to eat lunch! And don't forget that I love you!"
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