Enough's Enough

Alright folks. It's no secret. I've been a grump lately. Things seem to agitate me faster than normal. I'm tired. So tired. Physically. Mentally.

I'm doing my best to keep things in perspective and not to let things get to me. I'm trying to remain positive. I'm trying to find the good. But when I'm stuck in a classroom of immature idiots for hours everyday, it's hard. Too hard.

It boggles my mind that these people will be lawyers someday (well, some of them will anyway). It's really scary.

One of the local radio DJs asked a caller a simple question the other day: If you could punch one person and get away with it, who would it be? I got to thinking and decided to try to answer.

This question proved to be more difficult to answer than I thought. But eventually I came up with an answer. However, I could not pick just one person. Instead, I decided that I would line up a number of people and hit the first person as hard as I could. They in turn would go flying into the second person, who would then fly into the third person, and so on. Here is my list.

1. Gnatty McGnatterson
The skinny little gnat that invades my space in torts. Here's the deal: we have assigned seats in our class. On the first day, I picked a spot that kind of secluded me. I had two open seats on my right and four open seats on my left. This provided me plenty of space to lay out my notebook, my textbooks and my computer.

The little gnat comes into EVERY class late. Why? Because she is not strong enough to walk up the stairs. She is too lazy to get to the elevators before they get crowded. So she comes in late. All the time. In fact, people in the row in front of me take bets everyday on how late she will be (she was 11 minutes late today). I am not kidding.

About two weeks ago, Gnatty McGnatterson came into class late and, instead of heading to her assigned seat, came to my row. No big deal, right? There were 4 open seats to my left. I still had plenty of space. Except I didn't. Gnatty sat in the seat RIGHT next to me. I had to move my bag and my books so she could sit down. Then she proceeds to start talking to me about what she missed when I'm making my best effort to pay attention to the robotic teacher. THEN she starts copying my notes. THEN she starts making as much noise as she can in an effort to push a piece of gum through the foil packaging (as I mentioned, she is skinny and not strong...there's an inference here...pick up on it).

Gnatty McGnatterson is definitely in line.

2. Tardy McTarderson
This chick is similar to Gnatty in that she comes into every class, every day. Not only that, but she is NEVER prepared. All that does is piss off the professor who in turn gives us more reading/assignments to complete. Fantastic.

Tardy is different than Gnatty in one respect. She doesn't invade my space. She actually heads to her assigned seat. Sure she's late for the same reasons (too lazy to get to the elevators early - heaven forbid you take the stairs), but she's at least respectful enough to try to quietly get to her seat with a somewhat shameful look on her face.

3. Rude People
Oh man, there are so many people to include here. Gnatty McGnatterson falls into this category too. When she comes in late, she doesn't tip toe around. She scrapes her bag along the wall. She slams her books down on the desk. She talks. She distracts. She sits in her seat and throws her half full bottle of water into the trash can, making a HUGE noise. Honestly, I'm to the point where it is nearly impossible from stopping myself from picking her up and throwing her in the trash. But instead, I'll let Frinkenhagen's Line 'o Punishment take care of her.

Also included in this line are the Poppy McPoppersons (there are two or three of them). The Poppys decide that it's necessary to blow bubbles with their gum and make loud popping noises. I mean, seriously? Do people not have manners?

Additionally, there are the clock watchers. The minute the clock hits the end of class time, these people are slamming their books shut, standing up, zipping bags, etc. All this while the professor is wrapping up and indicating the next class assignment and such. And then these watchpeople are pissed when they read the wrong assignment. There are three or four people in this group.

Finally, there is the chick that decides that she needs to leave in the middle of every class. I get it. Some classes are boring. Sometimes you're thirsty. Sometimes you have to go to the bathroom. Fine. No big deal. But if you have to do so, you can at least do so quietly. Not this chick. Nope, she stands up, lets her swivel chair slam against the desk, and struts out of the room like there's no one else there. What a b*tch. She did it today and I almost stuck my foot out to trip her to remind her there were others around. Instead, she joins the que.

4. The Dishonest
Attendance to class is optional. Of course, you can only miss a certain number of classes per semester before you're dropped. How do professors know if you're absent? They take attendance by passing around a sign-in sheet and expect people to honestly sign only their names. This is probably the simplest test of one's ethics. Lawyers are supposed to be ethical creatures, right? Well, some people obviously forget that. There is a small group in the class that have a rotational system in which one person signs in several different people. They think they are clever. They are not. One of the professors is onto them and they are informing the other professors. There is a cloud of distrust over our class now. And what does that result in? More work. Just what I need.

The dishonest are almost at the front of the line...

5. The Know-It-All
This guy is at the front of the line and will take the brunt of the punishment. If there's one thing I cannot stand in this world, it is people that put others down because they think they are better (ironically, is that what I'm doing here? What a hypocrite...). This guy sits near me in almost every class. He thinks he knows the answer to every question yet he doesn't raise his hand. When people ask questions or provide answers to the professor's questions, he leans over to his buddy and says how stupid they are. He sighs all the time. He takes off his glasses and throws them on his desk because he is so disgusted that he has to be in class. He thinks that the professor's lectures are completely pointless (...wait, he may have a somewhat valid point here).

This dude knows it all. Except he doesn't. He is the arrogant a-hole that needs a reality check. I wish I knew what everyone's grades were in the class because I'm sure there are people out there that don't say a word that kicked his butt last semester. But, because he's a know-it-all, I'm sure he has some excuse for his poor performance.

That's my line. Come to think of it, I think it is too long to actually reach the people at the back. ::sigh:: Such is life.

10-4, over and out.