How Much?

Ever heard the song "How Much Is That Doggie in the von Frinkenhagen's House?" Well, if you haven't, it goes something like this:

How much is that doggie in the von Frinkenhagen House?
The one that stinks like crap?

Yeah, that's our dog. And the answer is that he's free. Anyone want a dog?

Not only does he stink like a dog, but he stinks like my brother. Here I am, minding my own business, studying for my exam when I get hit with a SBD. Not only was it an SBD, but it was a lingering SBD. I turned the fan on high but all it seemed to do was whirl the stench around the office.

So I take the dog outside to take care of business. But what you don't know about our dog is that he's special. He can't do anything alone. That includes going to the bathroom. You have to be out there with him for him to go. And even then, when he's got the whole backyard to do his thing, he pees on the house. Or he takes a dump 5 feet away from you.

Only this time, he didn't take a dump. Why? Because it's raining. I had to chase him out in the yard only for him to stare at me like I was stupid. "What Brian? You want me to take a dump just because I have completely stunk up your office? But it's raining, Brian. I don't want to."

Well, I don't want to smell him. So he can fart away in his kennel until he decides it's time to rock the deuce.

Oh, and Grandma and Grandpa Moore - the kennel is still in your room. I made sure to shut the door and turn off the fan. That way, you'll have the pleasure of experiencing what I am experiencing. And yes, I do know that I'm the best son-in-law in the world.